Day One: Foot Pawz and An Inconvenient Truth

Hello. Welcome to my blog, where I will show you one hour of my whole day's worth of thinking as many days as I possibly can. But as we all know I'm very busy. Try to live a day with out my writing every now and then. This isn't a diary of sorts; I'm not going to tell you what I had for breakfast or what cute boy looked at me in Spanish class. I'm going to give you what I want, when I want. Yes I am controlling, but its my blog for God's sakes.

I thought I'd start by explaining my title. You see, FootPaws are the dance shoes I wear. Well, I also wear my four-year-old tap shoes (perfectly broken in, I might add) and my almost four-month-old pointe shoes (you can only have one pair of nicely broken-in shoes). Only the ball of your foot is covered. Your toes, your heel, your arch is exposed. The least amount of your foot is exposed. Like Victoria's Secret, for your feet. That explains why they derived from a shoe called FootThongs.

I love my pawz, and I love to dance. I go to just dance! in Bridgeport. It's worth the 45minute round trip to see my favorite dancers in the whole world. They are my sisters, and without them I would dance but not as happily as I do right at this very point in time. We have a team of the 6 most talented girls in town in my opinion, and we are getting better every day. I'm always getting better, even though CQuinn shows me off as the best. I dance in school shows, I dance at studio shows and at competitions like the one on Saturday. Dancing is just -- the best thing that has ever happened to me. It keeps me physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy. It is my escape from the everyday world. I can put on a show, show everybody all the amazing things I can do because really besides a couple of stuffy old ladies and gay guys who the hell notices a sickled foot or a parallel supporting leg every now and then? It is like acting for the flexible-- I can be happy, heartbroken, sassy, sexy, whoever I want whenever I can find the space. Which is partially why I made this blog...because there is never enough space. If I had my way I would dance every single minute of every single day. As it is I already dance at home, at the studio, even under my desk at school when no one's looking. No don't look that takes the fun out of everything!

Don't look. That would be nice. If no one looked at me. Hey, I wouldn't have to do make up. And I mean, I love writing, but you dont have to see an author, right? Just the work they come up with. You can laugh or cry or be in awe of something even if the woman who made it is invisible right? The problem is that I can't help but make people look. I like to brag too much. Hey look at me! See what a good writer I am? I like compliments, maybe too much, maybe too little. Because if I really cared if people thought I was amazing, then I wouldn't be doing stupid things like complaining to the first person I come across or breaking a promise or asking to be forgiven or falling in love with my best friend. And I most certainly wouldn't be crushed after it ended because then I couldn't hear people say Look at how well she's taking it. Yeah. Mhmm. He called me a slut just to hurt my feelings enough so that he wouldn't have to deal with me wanting him back. Yep, dont worry. I'm just fine, thank you for asking.

I may not be fine now, but I will be. I have to be. Because if I'm not, then I can't be the brave SoyJoy and help those little girls acheive their platinum dreams and be the big sister role model that I wish I could have. They deserve that much, after everyone else left us to follow their own dreams. CQuinn and I, we'll take care of them and help them to be the best dancers, and the best young ladies they can be, even if they will always be my little sisters. The best little sisters I could ever wish for.

Wish. I wish for a lot of things. Is that selfish? Maybe. Hmm. Wish. Seems kind of silly for me to wish. I mean, there are people in third-world countries wishing for a shelter, wishing for a cure, wishing for enough food and water to get through the day. So wishing for a good life seems...impossible to do. How can anyone who has as much as I have possibly wish for something more? Wishing for a boyfriend, wishing for a platinum, wishing for school to be over...my wishes are wasted. I just saw An Inconvenient Truth in science class. So tonight instead of someone to apologize for breaking my heart like I have been for a month, I think I will wish for an end to global warming. Maybe then I will live long and healthy enough to see my other wishes come true.

I really want to end every blog post I made with the Quote of the Day I recieve in my email. So here goes kicking off the tradition:

"I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might-have been has never been, but a has was once an are."-- Milton Berle

Here's Hoping!

Love (Whether you like it or not),
**Soyjoy**